How to survive in a Star Trek episode
Posted on 19 February, 2009 at 1:50pm

We all know where this is going.
Try your best to avoid being stuck in:
- A turbolift.
- A transporter pattern.
- A static warp bubble.
- The holodeck.
- An infinite loop.
- The 19th century.
Never be any of the following people:
- The good friend of a bridge officer, who no one has ever seen before, and who appears at the beginning of the episode.
- The love interest of: James T. Kirk, Julian Bashir, William T. Riker, or Lwaxana Troi.
- A spunky young ensign who is trying to prove him/herself.
- Any member of the crew of the original Enterprise appearing on a series other than their own.
- A member of any opposing force with redeeming characteristics or sympathetic qualities who opens up to a Starfleet officer.
- An enemy defector with heartfelt emotional allegiance to his/her race or government.
- Any android other than Data.
- The only member of the away team who is not a bridge officer.
- Tasha Yar.
The Discussion
6 Comments on “How to survive in a Star Trek episode”David Hamill
19.02.2009 2:44 pmIf you’re in a red top don’t go in the landing party. You’re a dead man.
Jack
30.05.2009 10:20 pmYou forgot to mention Any shuttle pilot giving Picard or Tuvok a Ride
Rob
1.09.2009 1:23 pmWhat do you mean other than Data? Haven’t you seen Nemesis?
Gary
25.08.2011 6:15 amin a pinch, you could also try using a recursive algorithm, remodulating the frequency, diverting emergency power, compensating, or reconfiguring. Above all else, never forget this: The lock/force field will disengage if you shoot its control panel with a phaser.
Gary
25.08.2011 6:23 amoh and reversing the polartity seems to help quite a bit too
Mark W
14.03.2013 4:29 amI was just thinking about this also and want to add two things to the list.
1. Never wear red (obviously)
2. Never stand next to a computer console during an attack