How to survive in a Star Trek episode

Posted on 19 February, 2009 at 1:50pm

expendability_star_trek

We all know where this is going.


Try your best to avoid being stuck in:

  • A turbolift.
  • A transporter pattern.
  • A static warp bubble.
  • The holodeck.
  • An infinite loop.
  • The 19th century.

Never be any of the following people:

  • The good friend of a bridge officer, who no one has ever seen before, and who appears at the beginning of the episode.
  • The love interest of: James T. Kirk, Julian Bashir, William T. Riker, or Lwaxana Troi.
  • A spunky young ensign who is trying to prove him/herself.
  • Any member of the crew of the original Enterprise appearing on a series other than their own.
  • A member of any opposing force with redeeming characteristics or sympathetic qualities who opens up to a Starfleet officer.
  • An enemy defector with heartfelt emotional allegiance to his/her race or government.
  • Any android other than Data.
  • The only member of the away team who is not a bridge officer.
  • Tasha Yar.

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The Discussion

6 Comments on “How to survive in a Star Trek episode”
  • If you’re in a red top don’t go in the landing party. You’re a dead man.

  • You forgot to mention Any shuttle pilot giving Picard or Tuvok a Ride

  • What do you mean other than Data? Haven’t you seen Nemesis?

  • in a pinch, you could also try using a recursive algorithm, remodulating the frequency, diverting emergency power, compensating, or reconfiguring. Above all else, never forget this: The lock/force field will disengage if you shoot its control panel with a phaser.

  • oh and reversing the polartity seems to help quite a bit too

  • I was just thinking about this also and want to add two things to the list.

    1. Never wear red (obviously)
    2. Never stand next to a computer console during an attack

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